Girls Of The Gram (1/11/19) – pixiiecat

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It's almost New Years Eve! 2018 didn't start out well, after my dad being in bad health just before Christmas, I wasn't doing too well mentally. I tried to pick myself up at the start of February by streaming again, and for a while it was really great, but it soon became more of a burden than something I enjoyed. Eventually I snapped, deleted a lot of my social media and kind of hid away for a while. I've battled my own demons a lot this year, fallen further into depression than I ever have before, cried in front of my family because I didn't know what else to do, grown from my pain and experiences and found a little bit of my self worth again. Even though I fought it had been stripped away from me forever, I created it again, from my own will. I am by no means what I'd regard as "good" now, but I am better than I have been in months, and I take that as a positive. We have grown from 20k to 200k in the space of a year and I didn't honestly ever feel I'd see the day. I felt at 23, I was past it. I'm not 18 anymore, I don't have the youth I did back then, but you guys love me anyway. You guys are helping me make my dreams come true, and I can't wait to see what we do in 2019. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

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